12/02/06 i was reading mehgan's blog the other day and this part really struck a chord:
"I've read that thin people look in mirrors and see their reflections as fat. I have this same problem only in reverse. When I look into the mirror I don't see 230 pounds hanging on a five foot two frame. I see a face that's kind of cute, hair to be envied, eyelashes that go on forever, even a little bit of a waste (sic). If I hold my neck just so I can see color (sic) bones and if I move my shoulders forward in such a way I can see the bumps of my breast bone and pretend I look like Jennifer Aniston."
that just really wowed me, i had the same condition! ha! i'd like to share that i have always been thick, save for about a year when i'd done the opti-trim and hung around 170 pounds which i wore really well on my 5'3" frame. the trip was that although all kinds of proof was there that i used to be much bigger: photos, all my clothes, all the compliments, people straight up not recognizing me; i never saw myself as big. i think that's also why i gained it all back. again, all kinds of proof- clothes were tight, like tight, instead of checking the scale and watching what i eat, i just bought/made different clothes. :) silly sha. i slowly gained back all the weight and then some, and i never saw it until it was there. i didnt want to admit i used to be a fat person. and i really didnt want to face that i was becoming a fat person again. ah well, past is the past. im wiser, smarter, now. it's nothing to be ashamed of. especially now, b/c im actively doing something to improve on a part of me that im not satisfied with. that's something to be proud of.
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