Sha who shoots down pounds and shrinks.: meh

Sunday, September 23, 2007

meh

i have used the treadmill or did a dvd for 18 of the last 20 days.

my scale is broken, but i know i was 232-ish or so. and my goal is to be 229-ish by october 1st. i estimate i eat under 2000 cal/day. at this rate, i think i will make that october goal.

and yet i still have that "so what" feeling, that "meh" all around me... this feeling of pointlessness and wanting to give up and thinking that im really just spinning my wheels and doing a whole lot of nothing. WHY do i feel that way? *sigh* strugglin. where's the feel good, dammit?!

im going to go home, and hop on my new used elliptical i got yesterday. i was only able to manage about 5 min last night. that shit is hard. i'll go for 8 minutes tonight.

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My Weight Loss Attempts:

*in 2001, i did optifast and optitrim via Kaiser. I lost 68 lbs, and gained bk 85. i think it's a good program, but you really have to focus on ALL of the program, not just the fasting. i ignored my mental and emotional health, and thus gained every pound back and then some.

*in 2oo3, i did nutrisystem, i think i lasted two days. the food was AWFUL. i heard they've re-vamped their program, tho, so i don't knock it. let me know if it works for you.

*ive made monthly donations to my local gyms over the years-24hour fitness, curves, the women's gym, the arc. i gave them my money, why wasnt i losing any weight? ;)

*in 2005, i did slim fast, trying to use it the same as optitrim. i lasted 10 days, lost 3 lbs, but i couldnt handle the "replace a meal with a liquid" thing anymore and gave up.

*in Nov 2006 i started at 251.8 pounds doing jenny craig b/c those kirstie alley commercials were just too inspiring. i lost about 10 lbs and liked most of their food. i continued with it until feb 2007 when i left for south korea.

*from 2009 to 2016 i disappeared from blog world and didnt make any real efforts about weight loss...

*in april of 2017, i returned to blogging and i started following the impatient dieter on youtube and using the wonderslim products from dietdirect.com to lose more weight.

the point to listing all my weight loss attempts?

DON'T STOP TRYING. I havent lost much weight, but i've lost some... and I won't lose more if i give up.

And fast forward to today, 4/5/2021. I had gastric sleeve surgery on 1/22/2018 and went from a "day of surgery" weight of 262 lbs to today weighing 139 lbs. I feel friggin fantastic; I feel like myself, only lighter and freer. Feeling very grateful for my doctor and the universe aligning so that I could get this surgery.