spinning

ah.... i dont have anything to say. just feel kind of bad that i havent written in so long. whats up w/me, im on the treadmill every other day, for 50-70 min lately. but my eating, oh yes, the eating... im not losing a thang, im spinning my wheels. those spurts of positivity are fleeting with me, always. i wish i just was thinner already, ive been so good at maintaining :) *pish* i used to be so "anti" plastic surgery but you know what, if i had the money, i'd be gettin a lap band right now! i heard its about as safe as gall bladder surgery these days. i think we may all be thin and on somma in the future. but i dont know if the world would be for the better b/c of it... anyways... so... keep on... dont give up... blah blah blah... isn't this kitten gif super cute????!!! ah crap, it's not moving. well, if you click on it, the kitten chases the butterfly.

happy anniversary

it's one year later. i started at 251.8 and 365 days later im 228.4 which makes me 23.4 lbs down. so that's good. the first 6 months were way more gung ho than the last 6 month. well, let's see how things is 6 months from now. happy anniversary, me :)

25 lbs down

right now i weigh 227.2 lbs, im at a full 25 down. im firmly and completely out of the 230's forever and ever. *phew*

i dont have that same insane happy feeling i did at 20 lbs down... maybe b/c it took me a really really long time to get here. meh, who cares how long it took, im here, that's whats important. it's my day off work, i napped on the couch for hours, and then watched oprah while eating a kimchee kimbop, then did 55 min walking on the treadmill while watching godzilla. man, that is one crappy movie.

Weight loss so far: 25.0 lbs
Biggest temptation: giving up.
My treat: letting go and going on.
My best discovery: banana AND mario

nov

it's november 1st. down 2.0 lbs this month. yeah me!

a rediscoverd joy

on sunday i went and did something that i havent done in a very very long time. i bought new clothes.

when i walk down the main drag in itaewon, always a vendor calls out to me, "big size! we have big size!" it's getting colder here, and i have one pair of pants that fit, and figured i'd best try to find something else to wear.

despite my loss thus far, i dont feel like ive lost anything. i dont feel like i look any different. i dont feel as tho my clothes fit different. i guess it wont be until i absolutely cannot wear a pair of pants without a belt that i will really see my progress. but clothes shopping was really uplifting! not only did i find a pair of jeans that fit, but the first couple pair i tried on were too big! hot damn!

i bought a coat that i love, it's so friggin cold here now. i bought a pair of pants that i didnt really want, actually, but the sales woman was so nice to me, i couldnt say no. but im glad i bought them now, i look super cute in them.

ive used either my elliptical or treadmill for 23 out of the last 30 days. yuppers.

fighting meh

from sparkpeople: Nearly everyone has experienced a time when it hardly seems worth the effort to get out of bed, or when the problems they face seem so overwhelming that they're not sure where to begin.

yuppers. but not today, i feel good :) and now, a message from dr ian.

It’s not unusual to get down on yourself when you’re making changes to how you live, especially after your initial excitement fades. I encourage you to face the issue and not ignore it. Take a quiet moment for yourself to think through what’s bringing you down, then remind yourself of why you are making these changes. Cling to your hope and not the lies or negativity that might be running through your mind. You WILL reach your goals, but know that managing depression can be part of the process. You might need to seek professional counseling to help you deal with what’s really bothering you. Don’t be afraid to seek the help that you need. Support is critical and millions have succeeded in getting their mind and body back on the positive track.

farewell

i had to get the cereal out of my house. it's just too much right now. with jc, i was controlling to one or two bowls a day, but now-a-days i can go through half a box and a whole carton of milk. i polished off a box today and told myself that maybe i ought to make a little change.

there's this cereal here in korea, i dont know the name, it looks like Chex or Life, but it's chocolate. chocolate, y'all. and i found a lacto free milk. the combonation is just too tempting.

i do love Cereal, but Cereal and i need to take a break for a while. Cereal, please understand. i still find you delicious. there's no other quick comfort food like you. and this is not goodbye... this is only, "until we meet again..."