241.8: today marks 10 pounds down!

time for the dancing banana!!!

happy holidays

Belated merry christmas, happy kwanzaa, and all around happy holidays to everybody! so, i over ate on the 24th and 25th, and i didnt do any exercise either, but hey, the past is the past. i walked a good chunk to work today, i think i walked about an hour or so, and then got on the bus. i'm going to try v8 today since i seem to have trouble getting in my daily vegetables. and check out these fresh sneakers my poppa bought me for x-mas! they're magic sneakers; all that walking i did today and i couldnt even feel the ground. im hype to walk at least two more times this week. a couple days ago i bought my plane ticket and i'm leaving for south korea on february 16th to start my new job, so that can be my self challenge: how much can i lose before i leave for Seoul. im in a super happy mood right now. i think i'm just happy to have internet, it's not been working at my house for like 4 days, i was going through withdrawls.

thanks, brother!

this is my Aerobic Rider my brother's neighbor was giving away. My brother took it off her hands and gave it to me. i've been using it on and off for like 30-40 min in the morning. "On and off" b/c i stop when im tired, and then a couple min later, start up again. i really like it. you pull on the handle bars while pushing with your legs at the same time. i like this machine, i can do it at home, and home workouts are dope. i wont use my excuses of not having a gym membership, or not having a car to get to the gym, or not having the time to get to the gym. I'm gonna make it work. oooh, and i cant wait for my step set!

coming up on my first BIG deal

guys, im 9.2 lbs down. im coming close to my first 10 full pounds down. that's so friggin awesome. i definitely have to do a non-food reward. i've been doing much better on the exercise. for the last two days, i did leg lifts, crunches, and push ups with the balance ball, and i've got this aerobic cycle machine thing my brother gave me that i've been doing 20-40 min (on and off) on. i ordered a step workout set from amazon, should be here sometime after christmas. 10, 15, 20, 25, this is so friggin awesome.

get those veggies in

you're supposed to have a daily salad with a jc menu, but i never do. spoiled kid, i dont know, never got into salads. when i do eat them, they're covered im ain dressing, have plenty of corn or fried chicken strips or tuna with heavy mayo. pero anyways, i haven't been eating salads w/the jc program, instead i eat sides of steamed broccoli, sliced raw red bell peppers... that's it! so lately i've been trying to add vegetables to my jc meals. i friggin love these cans of diced or crush tomatoes, y'all. today i added half a can of diced tomatoes & sweet onion and half a cup of frozen spinich to my jc spinich and cheese tortellini. earlier in the week, i mixed the tuna salad with extra chopped celery, onion, and diced tomatoes. eat it a'top slices of red bell pepper. last week i did the same thing, but mixed it in with a can of green beans. does that sound gross? it wasnt, it was really good. i'd read another blog where a person made a huge salad, topped with jc chili con carne and taco sauce for a low cal taco salad. i dont really care for the jc chili con carne, but do try it out yourself and let me know how you like it.

my balance ball

at my last appointment at jc, i bought two balance balls, on for the office and one for home. I'd read somewhere that if you use a balance ball to sit on instead of a chair at work, you can really strengthen your core. i dont really know what my core is, but im all for making it stronger. i watched the workout dvd it came with. i'll actually DO the workout tommorrow! im trying to think of exercise that i think would be fun. and things i can do at home. i took a step class once and i liked it, i ordered a set w/video today via amazon.com. should be here a couple days after christmas. alright, let's kick this weight loss jazz into high gear!

i cooked this! sort of.

look at this, guys, i made it myself! mostly... partly. it really is exciting, i never cook. i microwaved the jc part, but i steamed that broccoli myself. :) that's the jc southwestern chicken with rice and beans, along with steamed broccoli and a dollop of vegenaise. doesn't is look like a big ol' plate of tastee goodness?! i dont eat out of the jc packaging, i always put it on a plate, makes me feel like a real person.

i stumbled a little

{i must preface this with talking about my career change:
i am leaving for south korea in march to teach english.
it was the trigger that got me to start on a weight loss path}

12/15/06wow its been a HARD day and it's only 1pm! i ate a slice of pizza last night. it was in the fridge, it had shrimp and pepercinnis and onions, i dont know what else. ate it cold, while in bed, watching tv. and this morning i woke up and when i remembered it, i was like, "ah, shit."

i wanted to go off everything today b/c of that, like since i stumbled, i might as well "make it worth my while" and start the day off with the rest of that pizza. and wouldn't you know it, i went to the fridge and the pizza wasnt there! whose ever the pizza was (i have two roommates) must've taken it with them this morning.

so instead i started in on my jc menu for the day and ate half of it. i told myself, "well, if im going to eat, i'd better eat what i have planned for today" but see, i didnt have to eat half in one sitting! reflecting on that now, i was trying to set myself up. i was subconsciously going to eat all my food, be left with nothing later in the day, and then use that as an excuse to eat extra.

halfway through my menu i stopped b/c i was full. i got online, checked my email and BANG there was an email from korea. just a little friendly "glad to have you on the team" and that the contract is being drawn up, etc etc. Guys, it flipped a switch in my head. all at once i realized what i was doing with my food today, realized why i started this, realized that i slipped right into old habits, and most importantly, realized that i could choose to stop RIGHT NOW.

*sigh* so i did. ive taken a look at my menu, i havent deviated, i still have lots of fruits and veggies on the menu to eat today (b/c of course i ate all the "good stuff" first, hee-hee), and planned out how to eat them spaced for the rest of the day so i dont get too hungry.

guh, it's a long slow path to weight loss. especially since my poo-butt isnt exercising. time is so strange! it was just one or two days ago i was saying "hey, im out of the 250's, im doing great!" and then i eat pizza! im going to check out some home video workouts this week. maybe get a balance ball or something. i took a step class once, it was pretty fun. ok, self, check out a step video. and re-read my korea emails to fuel me up.

kitty!

i love this avatar!!!!

goals

12/14/06 i was on sparkpeople and there was a forum "what are your goals." it was nice! here are mine.

*in 6 months, be in one-derland: that's one hundred something pounds.

*my Ultimate ULTIMATE weight goal is to be 128-132... maybe in a year... and maintain that for the rest of my life.

*to be able to comfortably cross my legs.

*to sit in an airplane chair w/out my hips being crushed between the armrests.

*to look at photos of myself and not see that curvaceous underchin

*to walk into any store i want and find something straight off the rack that fits.

*to only wear clothes that i love, b/c a lot that i wear now is only b/c it fits.

*for my lover to run his hands over my body and i dont get freaked when he touches my stomach.

*to physically be the very best that i can be.

*to inspire others to do the same.

slow burn

12/10/06 {i posted these last couple thangs backwards, sorry} this week my weight has fluctuated 246-249. im 246 today. i know that often the number may not change, but the inches do, but my clothes dont feel any different. since starting jc on 11/19, i've only deviated 3 days to now. WHY havent i lost more weight? *sigh* ok, it's only been days. not months, self, only days. in addition, i think this is a lesson on the importance of exercise. i am so sedentary. i havent walked to work in over a week, i've been taking the bus. the only other exercise ive done is what i wrote about here- that little bit of the pilates tape, and the little bit i did at my desk before the holiday party. i consistently eat 1680-1700 calories a day. i dont want to eat less, so ive got to move more.

still in the 240's. but that's OK!

12/12/06 i weigh myself every morning. i know, i know, you're not "supposed" to do that, but that's not quite true, it depends on your personality. if you have an eating disorder, anorexic or something, then nah, not a good idea to weigh everyday. but some, and i feel that includes me, like seeing that .1 drop in the scale, its encouraging. pero anyways, this week my weight has played with 246-249 which is a lot! i wear almost the same clothing and i always weigh in the morning, so the 3 pounds was disturbing to me. BUT i stayed within my 1700cal/day schedule. it was hard for sure, these are the times i want to say "fuck it" and hit carls jr. I went online, read some motivation articles, articles about health and fitness and obesity, watched The Biggest Loser, finally reminded myself that if i dont stick with the nutrition layout i have planned for today, i wont feel good about it tomorrow. so, today im 244. good on me, im still and will forever be firmly out of the 250's where i started.

golden spoon

my new favorite dessert in the world is the chocolate malt flavor frozen yogurt from golden spoon. this place is friggin amazing. i had some yesterday and was STILL within my daily 1700 calorie goal, y'all! this shit has no fat and the small (4 oz) serving is 68 calories. a small chocolate (6oz) from coldstone is 390 calories. yeah, i know, huh?! my homegirl discovered it and called me for 3 days, telling me how good it is and begging for us to go for a trip. i thought there's no way something so low calorie could be that good and you know what, it IS. im never going to cold stone again. that was a really bad vice of mine, there has been more than one round of me going to cold stone every single day for over a week. i dont do that anymore *blush* but i'm hella excited to go to golden spoon every once in a while for a tasty low calorie treat! i feel like a new woman!

exercise.

i've been very upset yesterday and today. keeping it dl, i've had too many calls at work with people crying and begging for help and i feel needles all over b/c i have no resources to give... this is the sort of thing i'll need to meditate on to find alternatives of making me feel better aside from using food. yesterday i ate a burrito. it wasn't even good. today we're having the holiday party w/food galore. it's making me extra anxious. let's focus on something else... i bet exercise would pump up my endorphins and help out. ive been meaning to read these articles on sparkpeople. i'll read them now, and maybe i'll try some today:
*basic core exercises that dont require much equipment.
*workout in the office i can do this, i work nights, no one is here but me.
*dorm room workouts b/c you can still do a lil' something in a lil' space. and every lil' bit is significant.
*get fit w/out leaving the house b/c i don't want to use not having a gym membership as an excuse to not exercise.

edit: at my desk, i just did some wall squats, some push ups against the wall, and some stepping using a phone book all while listening to the 80's alternative rock station on yahoo radio. i feel better now. :)

blogs i read

im so happy to find other blogs of people doing it and doing well. i seem to find more every day. i prefer blogs that talk only about weight loss, b/c it's where i overlap.

*kenzi- the first i found & still my favorite http://kenzicle.blogspot.com/
*jeannete- losing half her weight http://www.pastaqueen.com/halfofme/archives.html
*meghan- workin it http://abetteryear.blogspot.com/
*dietgirl- 360 to 165. wow. http://www.dietgirl.org/dietgirl/
*scale ho- 209 to 170 and still going. http://www.scalewhore.com/
*nancy- tales of maintenence. http://www.dropthefork.net/
*just found this one: http://minxredux.blogspot.com/
*another: http://dietdolls.blogspot.com/

others i've glanced at but not really read just yet
*http://weight-loss-story.blogspot.com/
*http://you-have-such-a-pretty-face.blogspot.com/
*http://yellowabi.blogspot.com/
*http://hollygoheavily.blogspot.com/
*http://bonita-gordita.blogspot.com/
*http://newlifefitness.blogspot.com/
*http://losingcwt.blogspot.com/
*http://fatgirlcamp.blogspot.com/
*http://www.lindamoran.net/blog_archives/diet_survivors/

and Here is a directory of weight related blogs. notice in the index that i have the BEST jenny craig related blog. well... im the only jenny craig blog there, but that still makes me number 1!!!!

what i ate today:

jeez, im so full. i still have my cereal to eat when i get home~

8:30am
choc soy mil 138cal
2 tsp peanut butter 60cal
9:ooam
1 ounce string cheese 60cal

11:00am

nonfat yogurt 100cal

3:oopm
jc tuna salad 270cal

1 ounce string cheese 60cal

4pm

raw red bell pepper 30cal

nonfat yogurt 100cal
4:15pm

4 ounces diced peaches 25cal
4:30pm

1 ounce string cheese 60cal

7pm

jc chicken fajitas 290cal
9pm

jc cheesecake 150cal
10:30pm(when i get home)

jc cereal 170

soymilk 103

2tsp peanut butter 63

today's calories 1679.

and i'm supposed to have 1700.

i will try to eat another bell pepper,

or drink some juice.

count those calories

now that im looking at calories in food, im amazed at all the places where i can save and still have plenty to eat. i was at the market yesterday to buy more of those peaches i eat at 50 calories each and next to it i found the same thing but sugar free, with only 25 calories. the lowfat string cheese i eat at 80 calories each; a little further down the shelf i found the same thing at 60 calories. i tried to switch yogurts too, but the extra calories (100 vs 60) are worth it for the taste.

my blue sweater

12/05/06 today i am wearing my blue sweater. i used to wear this sweater a lot when i was 170-ish. ive not worn it in years. i pulled out a few clothes that i loved and can no longer wear and hung them up on the wall for inspiration. i woke this morning, it was cold, and i put this on. it fits, just doesnt fit the way i want it to. im home right now, it's just me and the cats chillin, and i feel good wearing my sweater. i know that down the line i will be wearing this sweater outside in the world and feeling even cuter than i do right now. it'll be a while down the line, but who cares, i know it's down there somewhere.

am i obssesed?

it's only december 4th and

this is my 18th post of the month.

broccoli

can you overdo it on broccoli? i just ate like 3 cups of steamed broccoli. didnt realize i was so hungry. a good lesson here is that i should only cook that which i intend to eat. im sure i ate so much more b/c i had cooked so much of it. later down the line i'll have the restraint to refrigerate extras. pero anyways, years ago i had dinner with a girlfriend and she offered me mayonnaise for my broccoli. i was horrified. well, i wasnt even a fan of broccoli or vegetables at all at the time anyway. oh how i've grown! anyway, mayonnaise with steamed broccoli is the bomb. even better, vegenaise instead of mayonnaise. not only are you getting plenty of iron, vitamin K, and lowering your risk of cancer; you are saving the lives of chickens as well, for vegenaise is sans eggs. it's not the broccoli im worried about overdoing it with, actually, it's the vegenaise with comes in at 90 calories a tablespoon.

update: after calculating, this broccoli debacle cost me 464 calories. >:(

stupid blogger.

*sigh* again blogger is trippin with the weird looking post screen where i cant change fonts or post pictures or links or anything. i dont want to go to work today, guys. i want to stay home and play video games. but let me leave with a positive- i dont feel like overeating or binging or doing anything that deviates from jc. so that's good. AND my weight is firmly out of the 250's, never to go there again. yeah!

charting my weight

I'd love to put a line graph or something here, but am yet to find an html code for that. hook a sista up if you knows.

month/year	Weight	Change
11/06	251.9	0
12/06	246.4	-5.05
01/07	241.8	-4.60
02/07	242.4	+0.60
03/07	236.2	-6.20
04/07	232.2	-4.00
05/07	225.8	-6.40
06/07	n/a	n/a
07/07	n/a	n/a
08/07	230.6	+4.50
09/07	232.6	+2.00
10/07	230.4	-2.20
11/06	251.9	0
12/06	246.4	-5.05
01/07	241.8	-4.60
02/07	242.4	+0.60
03/07	236.2	-6.20
04/07	232.2	-4.00
05/07	225.8	-6.40
06/07	n/a	n/a
07/07	n/a	n/a
08/07	230.6	+4.50
09/07	232.6	+2.00
10/07	230.4	-2.20
11/06	251.9	0
12/06	246.4	-5.05
01/07	241.8	-4.60
02/07	242.4	+0.60
03/07	236.2	-6.20
04/07	232.2	-4.00
05/07	225.8	-6.40
06/07	n/a	n/a
07/07	n/a	n/a
08/07	230.6	+4.50
09/07	232.6	+2.00
10/07	230.4	-2.20
11/07	228.4	-2.00
12/07	227.8	-0.60
once	again	in 2012
03/12	226	-0.20
04/12	218	-8.00
05/12	212	-6.00

yeah, mutha fukkahs!

244.2 today!!!!! fuck yeah!!! :) ok, i think my weight will play with the 245's to 246's this week, since last week it played with 246-247. but still, very VERY exciting. i am getting close to TEN full pounds down! im so friggin' happy!

how jenny craig works

how jenny craig works: i think i should really call this, "how i'm working with jenny craig." everyone's experience is different, of course. i've never done a "food" program before, only fasting and liquid diets. i tried nutrisystem once, but i dont really count it b/c the food was so bad i only lasted about a day (not knocking it, tho, i heard they've re-vamped their recipes). when i wasn't fasting, my regular eating habit was eating what i want, when i wanted it. i had no idea how many calories were in my food, nor the carbohydrates, protein, sugar, nothin.' even when i did make wiser food choices (baked instead of fried, low fat or low sugar), i still ate massive portions.

i want to talk first about the cost. yeah, jenny craig is pricey. the sign up fee depends on how long you want to use the program (i think i dropped down $200) and every week i spend around $100 on jc food. i manage b/c i no longer drive a car. that sort of all happened at once- i drove an old car that was on it's last leg. it broke down for the 4th time in less than 6 months. i decided not to fix it. i had made a decision a few months before to leave my home town and was scheduled to leave in 4 months anyway, so i decided to just sell to my car. that saved me money on gas and insurance alone (insurance $100/mo & gas $200/mo). a month with life sans car i found involved a lot of walking: my walk to work took 2.5 hours, walking to the school where i volunteer once a week took 1.5 hours. i thought to myself, "i'd better lose some weight for all this goddamned walking." but see, i know how much nutrition plays into weight loss. with the liquid diet, i'd lost 68 lbs and hardly exercised. i figured i'd best see about changing my food habits.

i couldnt deal with any more fasting. i looked into prepared food programs. i thought about nurtisystem, but nah. i check out fresh food- diettoyourdoor, zoneathome, 3hourdiet, etc but the costs had me reeling. i made peace with it, tho. i needed... no, i wanted help to lose this weight and whatever i use is going to cost me.

i looked into weight watchers, but points seemed weird to me. i looked at jenny craig and went into my free consultation. you get part jc food, and part grocery shopping on your own. for example, today i had jc turkey chili, along with my own sprinkle of parmesan, a side of broccoli and coke zero. as you get closer to your goal weight, you do less jc foods, ie: 4 days a week do jc menu, your own meals the other 3 days. this goes on until you cook all your own food. it really appealed to me b/c i could use this program to learn how to eat, learn what and how much im eating, and most importantly, learn lifetime management skills. Maybe because i've only ever done liquid diets, i really dont feel like jc is a "diet;" i feel like it's more a nutritional program. all the food tastes good (cept them cookies) b/c it's real food.

aside from the jc food, you also get a motivational cd, a couple of pamphlets, and weekly meetings w/a jc consultant. i meet with my consultant every saturday and record my weight. we talk for about 15 minutes about my progress that week: she asks me if im exercising, if i'm drinking enough water, to try to cut down on the coke zero. i ask her any questions i may have (about food, nutrition, calories, support, resources). then i tell her what jc foods i want for that week, i pay, i leave.

i read a lot about how jc is no different from any other program, and that you could easily do it on your own. that's true but i decided that for me i needed help getting started. yes, im spending a lot of money right now, but that's nothing compared to what my weight will cost me for the rest of my life if i didnt get in control of my eating.

sometimes the slowness of the weight loss compared to fasting is discouraging. with fasting, i'd lose near a pound a day; jc is like a pound a week. but i thought about it, and if i had started this slow loss process a month ago, i'd be 5-10 pounds lighter. i'd already be a smart eater. when i reach my goal weight, i wont be scared about gaining it back b/c i'll have learned how not to. i finally accepted what all the "experts" said- the only way to lose weight and keep it off is to reduce your calories in and increase your calories out. i dont know why i was so intimidated to learn and practice this before. but im really glad im doing it now.

nobody was buzzing in my ear to lose weight, nobody had to, i knew. i made the decision on my own, and to use jc specifically. i mention that b/c i think that's important. no program is going to work until/unless you decide you're ready.

since i started jc, i do a lot of online reading about nutrition and obesity. i think and reflect a lot about what my life was like when i did optifast and went from 235 to 170. i think about how i let all that weight come back and then some. i reflect about what i expect out of this weight loss, what will change, what will be different. i journal on paper every day, i blog here, i read and post on sparkpeople for support, i try to see a therapist about once a month. the reason i list all this is because being overweight and obesity isn't just about a weight problem. it is also a mind problem. if you don't make peace with whatever issue you have, if you dont work on your mental and spiritual health as well as the physical, i would wager you would, like me, gain back all you lost and then some.

i just know i look good.

12/02/06 i was reading mehgan's blog the other day and this part really struck a chord:
"I've read that thin people look in mirrors and see their reflections as fat. I have this same problem only in reverse. When I look into the mirror I don't see 230 pounds hanging on a five foot two frame. I see a face that's kind of cute, hair to be envied, eyelashes that go on forever, even a little bit of a waste (sic). If I hold my neck just so I can see color (sic) bones and if I move my shoulders forward in such a way I can see the bumps of my breast bone and pretend I look like Jennifer Aniston."
that just really wowed me, i had the same condition! ha! i'd like to share that i have always been thick, save for about a year when i'd done the opti-trim and hung around 170 pounds which i wore really well on my 5'3" frame. the trip was that although all kinds of proof was there that i used to be much bigger: photos, all my clothes, all the compliments, people straight up not recognizing me; i never saw myself as big. i think that's also why i gained it all back. again, all kinds of proof- clothes were tight, like tight, instead of checking the scale and watching what i eat, i just bought/made different clothes. :) silly sha. i slowly gained back all the weight and then some, and i never saw it until it was there. i didnt want to admit i used to be a fat person. and i really didnt want to face that i was becoming a fat person again. ah well, past is the past. im wiser, smarter, now. it's nothing to be ashamed of. especially now, b/c im actively doing something to improve on a part of me that im not satisfied with. that's something to be proud of.

yogurt

i went to the grocery store before work b/c i needed a yogurt to add to my jc menu today. the last two weeks i bought these yoplait lights, they taste good and they're fat free and usually get them for like 60 cents. the little shop i went to was new, they only had one brand of yogurt: Alta Dena. holy smokes, the calories! one little cup was 240 calories, whereas my usual yoplait is only 100 calories. this is a great learning experience, though. it's important to see how many calories are in the food we eat; it's not obsessive, it's educated. i think back about how i really didnt eat a LOT of food, but im still so overweight. i wasnt making smart food choices. i bet a lot of that is WHAT i ate rather than how much. well, no, ok the "how much" factors in there too, but you know what im saying. i want to switch to soy yogurt, though. im pretty sure the price is comparable. there's a lot of dairy in the jc program, i talked to the counselor about using soy instead. i use soy milk instead of non fat milk. i'll switch this yogurt. i dont know if there's anything i can do about the cheese, tho. vegan cheese just don't melt, it's too weird.

========================================

update: i went shopping today and the soy is way too expensive. something like $1.39 per when it's not on sale. also had more calories; 170 or so vs yopliat 100 calories. The yoplait was on sale 10 for $4.55 and oh how i wish now that'd i'd just got the yoplait! instead i bought this dannon light&fit, all excited b/c it's only 60 calories but this stuff tastes like chalk.and i bought like 10 of them!

C'MON!

12/02/06 im having blogger withdrawls! why is this thing not acting right?! i cant see the link field, the photo field, the font field, anything! why, god, WWWHHYYYYYYYYYY???!!!

some inspiration.

a great set of tips. this woman lost over 100 lbs.
http://www.nicoleww.com/tips.html
blogger is acting weird right now and i cant properly post the link.

december 2006 photo

12/1/06 i noticed it was december 1st and i pulled out my camera to take my monthly photo. so this is the first picture i shot, me at my computer desk (notice my poster of Huey of the Boondocks in the background. reprazent!) anyway, i shot this and then looked at it and thought, "goddamn, i am so cute!" then i thought that maybe i should start to take full body shots every month instead, so that i can really see the progress. but then decided that i wouldnt be posting those here. ha! so i took another picture, with a little more of my shoulders in it, and not so much of holding the camera up high to hide my curvaceous under chin. so i took another one, and posted it up instead. anyway, that's my story. the black blip in the lower right is my cat Goldfish. the green yellow red in the upper right is the ethiopian flag (my husband is Amhara). the box in the middle is full of books to donate to the library. but seriously, dont i take a fantastic picture?! and im not even wearing make up or anything! if i'd have been a little taller, i'd have been a model.

it's a great morning!

12/1/06 it's so cold lately that it doesn't feel like san diego. for the last couple mornings i stayed in bed for like 20 min before getting up; not b/c i was still sleepy, but b/c it was so cold i didnt want to leave the warm sheets! i dont shower until the afternoon b/c its just too cold in morning. good thing i work nights. anyway, enough of the Southern Californian complaining about the weather: im feeling GREAT today. the scale didnt go down today, but it didnt go up and that is fantastic. no one is home right now, i have the apt to myself, it's just me and the cats and i love it. got my internet, got my music, got my cats, its a fan-fucking-tastic morning! :) ha, i want to tell you all that i take antidepressants and i had ran out so i was sans pills for around three weeks. they finally came in the mail last week and i feel so good! but even BETTER than that: all that time i was without pills and feeling the withdrawls and feeling down, i STILL started and stuck with the jenny craig program. former me wouldve used it as an excuse to eat, but the "Informed Educated Aware" me stuck it out. im the best! {black cat top photo: Goldfish. White cat bottom photo: Rosie. those were their names when i got them. my husband wanted to change them, but i didnt want the cats to feel confused.}